


A Collection of Scenes for a Story I'll Never Finish

by thatonedamncanadian (Shsldork)



Series: That Zombie Apocalypse Story I'm Not Finishing [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shsldork/pseuds/thatonedamncanadian
Summary: A trio of friends(?) find themselves in the zombie apocalypse. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. Translations

“Aw man,” he grumbled, “this shit’s in French! God dammit, this is America! What do they think I am, Canadian?”

Just then, he heard knuckles crack behind him, and his companion clearing their throat.

“Allow me, mon ami. I happen to know a thing or two about French.”

“Well, thank fuck I’ve got you and not a medic.”

“Step aside and let me do my magic. Unless you don’t want to know what this graffiti says?”

“Graffiti? Well, I wouldn’t call it graffiti! There’s much more grace to it tha-”

“Do you want me to translate it or not?”

He sat for a couple seconds, before shrugging and stepping aside. It may not have been relevant at all to what was happening around them, but dammit all if he wasn’t allowed to be curious about some random writing on the wall that has nothing to do with him! He was nosy, dammit!

“…We’re fucked.”

His eyes widened.

“What?? Why?? What does it say?!”

“No, no, it says ‘you’re fucked’.”

“… Oh.” He stood for a moment, before saying, “that was.. really anti-climatic.”

“Well, what did you think it said?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who can speak French.”


	2. Arguments

“More group members? In this economy?!” Andy frowned, “We can barely afford to keep ourselves alive!”

“Keep it down, would you? You’ll attract zombies from a mile away.” Rita looked around, seeing nothing but barren town around them.

“She’s right, dude,” Quinn scratched their arm, eyes darting from left to right, “we can’t afford to be too loud here. There’s no one here now but… that could change real quick.”

“Still. We can’t afford another party member. Three’s enough, now let’s just gather what we can and get out of here.”

Rita balled her hands into fists, “He’ll DIE without us.”

“He’ll die WITH us too. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable,” he gestured with his arms to the road ahead of them, “Let’s go already.”

There was no denying the man was badly injured. Without a medic, he was a goner. 1 point for Andy.

She glared at him, “Fine, but first a question.”

Andy rolled his eyes, “if I answer it, will you let it go?”

Rita crossed her arms and, reluctantly, nodded her head.

“Fine. Shoot.”

Rita furrowed her brows. “Shoot?”

“It means go ahead,” Quinn piped up. Now that things had quieted down a little bit between the two, they had stopped scratching their arm and seemed to be quietly paying attention to the whole debacle.

She looked Andy directly in the eyes.

“If you two are so keen on being lone wolves and not having 'party members’,” She added air quotes for good measure, “then why’d you let me join you?”

Andy and Quinn both stiffened, then looked at each other. Quinn coughed, and Andy cleared his throat while pulling on his collar.

“Hoo, is it hot in here or is it just me?” Andy laughed, a slight twinge of edge in his voice.

“If I said it was just you, would you take it as me flirting?” Quinn asked, a slight smile forming on their face.

Andy fanned himself, “oh baby, I’m swooning already.”

“Knock it off, lover boy, and don’t encourage him, Douche McGee.”

Andy frowned, “I wanna be Douche McGee.”

“Answer the fucking question.”

Quinn scratched their neck, “Well… uh…”

“It was their idea.”

“Dude!”

“What? It was!”

Rita frowned, “What was your idea?”

“Well… uhm…. you see..” Quinn was avoiding eye contact.

“They said that if we recruited you, then later on if a horde was chasing us we could trip you and buy us more time.”

Rita’s jaw dropped, and Quinn put their hands up defensively.

“I said that solely so that Andy would agree to recruit you!”

“Yeah, but you were totally thinking it, dude.”

“I-I mean… that wasn’t the only reason, but it would definitely be a nice bonus..” they trailed off.

“Un. Believeable. You guys are **such** assholes.”

Andy shrugged, “gotta be if you wanna survive, honey.”

“First of all, don’t call me honey.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Second of all, I don’t need your fucking social commentary. I’m trying to be mad at you.”

“… Is it working?”

“Fuck off.”

“… I think it’s working, Andy.”


End file.
